A soft word turns away wrath" is a phrase from the Bible, specifically Proverbs 15:1, which means that responding with a gentle or calm answer can diffuse anger and prevent further conflict, while a harsh word word only escalate the situation. It seems we live in a time where folks are angry. Much of what we hear is devisive as we attack those who disagree with us. I don’t know about you but I have never had much success convincing any one of anything by attacking them verbally. I know when someone is berating me with their words I find myself shutting down or wanting to lash back out at them. It doesn’t feel good to have someone speak harshly to us and it is human nature to try and protect ourselves when we feel attacked. `This can be a futile effort. As we resist each other the tension grows stronger and neither person wins. When I was doing couples counseling I had a mentor once tell me that when two parties get in a power struggle no one wins until someone let’s go of the rope. This is how it is when we are able to respond to anger with a calm response. It’s hard to keeping fighting with someone who isn’t fighting back. Eventually spirits have got to quiet a bit. This allows space to begin listening to the other person’s point of view. It’s funny sometimes when we stop needing to prove our point we can begin to listen and understand where the other person is coming from even if we don’t agree with them. Sometimes we may even begin to look at things differently. Stephen Covey calls this a win-win attitude instead of a win-lose attitude. It always feels good to feel like we’ve won a struggle but it feels so much better when those in our lives can win as well. If you are really wanting to have quality relationships. Learn how to respond with a soft answer and then consider listening to what the other person is saying. You never know what might come of it all. It’s something to think about! Melanie Walker